There’s not mu[c]h-room in this backyard for a beast like this one! But it looks like such a fun-g[uy]! No? Fine – I’ll stop, but I’m sure it’ll disappoint all the dads out there.

This mushroom in my backyard has been captivating me for days now and is ridonculous. I’m not sure if it is the BIGGEST mushroom I’ve ever seen, but might be the biggest I’ve seen in our yard, to date. It is probably toxic to humans and dogs, although most of the varieties that grow around here seem to be. Maryland does have edible mushrooms, yet most of the spores that make their way into my space all seem to be the “let’s not forage for this one” kind of shroom.

Although it looks small in the photo, when I first noticed my little…golden wine cap, maybe (but the internet and my app are currently in a disagreement) was about 3-4 inches tall (depending on how far down you measure, amaright, boys?) with a cap between the size of a golf ball and a baseball.

After a few days, this baby unfurled its umbrella and clearly found a growth hormone, because it tripled in size (these are size US 7 women’s)!

This week-long observation left me wondering what other mushrooms existed in my yard. Here is what I found…

Pretty sure this is the same as the mega-shroom….

Then I found these peculiar fungi buried in the mulch:

I’ve determined they are Hare’s Foot Inky Cap mushrooms because I discovered an adult with babies…

More wandering around and I found two that could be wine cap?! I’m not certain, but I don’t want to pick them just to look underneath their caps to find out. Seems a cruel disservice to the mushroom and the environment.

Next, I started looking on the trees and logs and found one very common fungi (either Turkey Tail or False Turkey Tail, both grow in this area) and one I’ve never seen before (possibly a wood ear mushroom). I couldn’t stop staring at it…

Then lastly there was this dainty and elegant little duo, poised like ballerinas waiting to begin a dance…

Whether or not the dance is toxic or merely psychedelic is unknown as this was another shroom that stumped my app and the internet. I think they think it is smaller than it is.

These are probably not the only mushrooms back there now, and with this unending rainy spring, there are likely to be so many more to appear. I should really get a book on mushrooms.

Thanks for joining me on this shroomy side quest!